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There’s a behavioral health expert from Nebraska who spent the past year delivering keynote addresses in Brazil, Australia, the Czech Republic and across the United States. Audiences of educators, counselors and social workers filled conference halls to hear him. They invited him. They sought him out. And every single time, no matter the topic, no matter the country, he found a way to bring it back to Boys Town.
“You don’t get to hear from me unless I talk about Boys Town,” said Dr. Patrick Friman, Ph.D., LP, Vice President Behavioral Health, Emeritus at Boys Town. “All roads lead to Boys Town when I’m speaking.”
It’s a pattern that echoes something from more than 75 years ago. After World War II, Father Edward J. Flanagan, Boys Town’s founder, was brought to countries across Europe and Asia to share his philosophy of care and reform. Nations rebuilding themselves asked for his ideas. Now, in a different era, Boys Town’s reach is global once again.
The Self-Worth Talk Service Providers Aren’t Expecting
Dr. Friman’s speaking invitations come from every corner of the world, and his audiences, though separated by oceans and languages, share a common thread. They are people who have chosen to spend their working lives in service to others — teachers, therapists, behavioral health professionals, social workers. They chose this work not for the pay or prestige, but because something in them felt called to do so.
And yet, Dr. Friman argues, the cultures they live in don’t fully honor that calling.
“Cultures pay lip service to it,” he says. “They say nice things about it. They even throw a little money at it. But if you want to see what the culture actually values, watch a soccer game or a football game or an awards show.”
That observation — plainspoken and a little uncomfortable — is usually where he begins. And it tends to land.
Each time Dr. Friman is invited to speak on a topic — ADHD, incontinence, depression or childhood anxiety — he delivers an abundance of useful and evidence-based information for the listeners. But what they aren’t expecting is the recognition they’re about to receive. He hands something back to the people in front of him: a sense of worth they may have quietly stopped expecting anyone to acknowledge.
The Thing About Attention
From there, Dr. Friman turns to what he sees as the heart of a fulfilling career — the idea that where people direct their attention is, more than almost anything else, a determinant of the quality of their life.
“Our attention is a very powerful commodity,” he says. “The whole world wants it.”
Social media platforms, colleagues, advertisers, strangers on the street — everyone is competing for a piece of it. And much of modern culture directs that attention inward. Toward the self. Toward self-improvement, self-promotion, self-concern.
For people in the service industry, he contends that direction is precisely backward.
Dr. Friman reminds his listeners, “If you focus your attention on something other than yourself that’s of importance to you — like one of your values — you’re going to find your way. If you focus it on yourself, you’re going to be lost. It’s like shining a flashlight in your eyes.”
The takeaway: the path to happiness, fulfillment and reduced burnout for caregivers isn’t found by focusing more on themselves. It’s found by investing more deeply in the people they serve. This isn’t what audiences necessarily expect to hear. But it resonates across continents.
What the World Is Hearing
The audiences seeking Dr. Friman out aren’t coming for abstract philosophy. They want practical knowledge — on anxiety, ADHD, behavioral challenges in children — and he delivers it. But they get something else too, whether they asked for it or not.
“It’s a package deal,” he says with a slight smile.
Over the past year, that package has been delivered in Brazil, Australia, the Czech Republic, Salt Lake City, Utah; Helena, Mont.; Kansas City, Kan.; Long Beach and San Francisco, Calif.; Portsmouth, N.H.; and points in between, with more dates already on the calendar.
The world, as it turns out, has urgent questions about how to care for its most vulnerable people and Boys Town has been working on those answers for more than a century. Dr. Patrick Friman is making sure the world knows it — while offering a framework for how the people doing the caring can lead more fulfilling lives.
